It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
