dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
