when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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