we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
