"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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