Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I have fence marks all over my body
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
