i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
The power of my boobs compel you
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
