why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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