do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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