High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
