Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
His nipple licking is glorious
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