You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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