Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
