Whatcha textin bout Willis?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
