I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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