My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Randomize