You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
