I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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