when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
