I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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