I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
