why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
