Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
