I can feel you judging me through the phone.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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