Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It's just like the Real World with babies
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
