I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
