Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
