Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
