We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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