You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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