is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
