he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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