is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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