Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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