lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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