there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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