come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
