I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
