He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
