yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i was born a porn star she said
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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