he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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