john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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