i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
