best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
