her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You can't special order awesome
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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