did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize