Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
