i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
