I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
