with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
