Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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