I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize