Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
