Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
