dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
