My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
