no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
