I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
