i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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