i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
