Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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