Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
