this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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